-=HELLO MATE
-HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD, BUT HOW IS YOUR DOG?
VERY SICK
Thats why I'm here to help you.
Dogs arent like you, they cant go to the doctor when they need to have things fixed. You have to look at them yourself and see if theyre having fun, or if they are ILL. That is when you come to Dog Solution, I will help you, for free right now but dont be surpriesd if I start to charge you FIVE DOLLARS soon. OK? yes.
What you do is look at your dog. Alright good. Now if the doge is acting sick, you click this picture and write in whats wrong. Then I tell you what to do.
+ALSO if you have a question (ABOUT DOAGS) you can ask it to me, and I will tell you the answer.
-=-=
WHEN DOGS DONT DO WHAT THEY ARE TOLD:\
This dog (in the picture down below mate) has a troubled past. did it do QUESTIONABLE THINGS in the war? This is a doag whos motives are known only to him.
Z
z
--*= Hello, I'm sorry if your dog does cough but its time for a story to help you understand doges =*--
"There is a man standing on the side of a river, the river is deep and wide. The man has a pillowcase full of vegetables and he is holding a bone in his hands. He is going to make a soupy stew, he's scottish and he loves to make a stew. But his house with his stuff is on the OTHER side of the river! He had to swim across (no bridges in scotland) to go to the market but now he has hands full of FOODSTUFFS so he cant swim home very good, he'll get washed down a water fall. Luckily, theres a large DOG mucking about nearby. The doge says to the man ""HI MATE, I LOVE STEWS, IF YOU GIVE ME SOME STEW, I WILL CARRY YOUR STUFF ACROSS, AND HELP YOU A BIT!""
The man is a smart man, and he says to the dog "But maybe you will eat my tasty turnaps and bones while we are swimming across the MIGHTY STREAM."
The doag does reasone : "Then we will both not get any STEW! I do love the STEW more than any bone or vegtable.!".
The man realises this is true and he ties three potatoes and a bunch of celery around the dogs back, and puts the soup bone in the doags mouth to carry across the river. Then he ties the sack of other stuff to his own head and begins to swim across, alsongside the dog.
Halfway across, the man takes a look around and he CHANCES TO SEE THE DOG EATING THE BONE! while he paddles along!
"hey, you're eating the bone! now the both of us will not have any stew! why are you doing that?" the man asks.
The dog does tell him "YOUR AN IDIOT"
Ther morel of this storey is "you cant change the nature of the doag, and dont give them snacks unless they do something to deserve it." This way they will try harder in general.
THE END
-+Questoine:
my dog
looks like a duck. is this normal? he didn't always. before he looked like
a japanese man. Hi Mate, that is a bit of a silly problem. I think
that this is not a problem with your dog but a problem with you, Im sorry.
You probably saw your doag sitting there, and went back to eating your
toasts with margerine and drinking a tea while meanwhile your doag has
wondered off, and a duck has come along and stood where your dog was
before, and before that there was a JAPANESE BUISNESS MAN standing there
doing SUMS IN HIS HEAD. Its a simple solution here, shoo them away if
theyre not your dog. (where is your dog? probly RUN AWAY. Check your local
DOG HOUSE. THIS IS YOUR
ANSWER.
-rotwheeelier-owner
pants
| lex Skizzleton |
| Where
have you been? My dogs have been sick for so long and you are their only
savior! One of my dogs has extremely short legs, and the vet tells me this is a normality. What does that mean is normality a defect? Should I try to stretch them out? My other dog is very old and grumpy. I think he is ok and healthy but old. How do I cheer him up and make him forget that he is going to die soon? |
OK, these are some good questions. these are the best ones so far, so you must have some dogs with bad problems. Two qustions, two answers, of course= small legs for a dog are a GOOD THING. Your VET could be an idiot. Doges love being small, they can go under the dinner table and wait to have snacks put into their mouth, or they can fit into a little hole. ITs their choice and they LIKE IT THAT WAY. When you try and stretcha dogs leg, it will think you hate it! IT WILL BITE YOU!
|
This man is CONSIDERING being rude to a dog - ("thats dangerous mate")
|
|
This man has been BITEN by a dog- seven hours into the bite.
|
|
THIS MAN IS BEING BITEN BY A DOAG
|
Doags do not like to have thier feet touched in general, Dogs can be stroppy too
The second QUESTINE about your old doag is a bit hard, I have never had met an old dog. From my thoughts but, you should feed it as many mints and sandwhiches as it wants, feed it an extra meal from your dinner, tell your dad that there will be an ectra freind at the dinner so they make a spare meal and then say WHOOPS hes not here,
and give it to your doag.
| Matt Parlette |  |
| Good Mornin' Mate, I am a Doge Owner who is in dire need of some guidence. My dogg has ben pooping and peeeng on my bed at nite. Some times she Ralph's. I have ben feeding her a steady diet of gravel and glass like I red in a book and she still acts like a jerk. poo, pee, broken glass, blood every morning. it is anoying. Also please do not be gone for so long ever again. OKAY? yes. |
HI MATT
I think that your a liar, I am pretty much the best knower of dog feeder knowledge and I HAVE SHOWN DOGES THE THINGS THAT YOU SAID YOU FEED THE DOGES AND THEY SAY "NO THANKS, OBVIOSLY"
If you have a problem with your doge leaking things out into your huose,
maybe its becuase you feed her too many watery meals, but I PROMISE you that you
are not feeding her some metals and glass, unless you hide them inside squashed
meat (its the only way).
So if your not doing the old squashed meat trick,
then your dog is probly really sick, try making her run fast and if she cant
then its dog doctor time, expensive for you.
Also try poking her face if she looks like like TIME TO BE ILL but thats your last hope really DOG SOLUTION
| Marcos McRocha |
| I'm afraid to go to the vet for this one and I need some help. I had friends in town and we made pot brownies. I believe my dog ate the brownies while we were at a concert. Before eating them he was always hyper and off the wall, now he is always mopey and mellow. He is constantly rummaging through the house looking for food. He even ate a box of my girlfriends tampax (no #2 for a week). How do I bring back the life in my dog? Should I feed it more brownies? |
If your dog is sad because you fed him some bad foods then OF COURSE YOU DONT GIVE HIM THEN AGAIN, ITOT! What you should do is let your dog swim in an ocean and then chase some thrown sticks, (a dogs favorite) this will put the pep back in his bark.If he is looking for foods all the time, then hide around the house some food that doges cant like, CASHEW NUTS, or tinned corn and then he will REALISE you have got bigger fish to fry than feed his face. FINALLY if he ate your girldfriends things, then you should buy her CHOICOLATES and FLOWERs, but write your doges name in the gift card this is FANCEY and its what YOU SHOULD DO.
| June 22, 2008 - 07:24 AM Naras Yasajfid |
| I dont need help but my dog does. I have a male dog, equiped with all male dog parts in his situation (if you get my meaning). He loooovvvvveeeessssss to hump everything. Even other male dogs. I dont think of my dog as gay, but sometimes he gets very very confused. If he wants to hump other lady dogs then be my guest, but he shouldnt be humping other guy dogs. At least I dont think so, nowhere for his red rocket to go... |
HELLO, thats a problem I see (Brett here). Don't worry though because I asked my dad what HUMPING DOGS are and he got a bit secretive and won't tell me but I INSISTED and hetold me to be quite or the bus will throw us out, well it turns out that it is when your dog does a dance becasue he's in a fancy mood. IT SEEMS YOUR DOG IS VERY FANCY, youre a lucky man.
well thats the problem but what is the solution, I'll tell you dont worry theres no charge. The solution is that if you dont want your doag HUMPING you need to buy your dog a bowtie and put it on his chin. (boiwties=fancy = what your dog is, idiot try to keep up.) but the real secret is you buy a HUGE! bowtie that trips your dog up when he tries to walk places to dance! So has to stay where he his, then when something you want your dog to HUMP sees his bowtie and realises that THIS IS THE SEASON TO BE FANCY, they go over to him, or you move them over closer to him and then we all waltz the tango. DOG SOLUTION
OK BYE
This is old down here- It is old not for you, today
Hi mate this isnt ready yet I cant figure out how to fix it so that youre questions are coming to me, its too hard for you to figure out so get ready when I learn how
.
What will happan is that you will enter the question about your dog, and I'll tell you the proper ansewer, then you feed your dog a mint and pat its nose becuase PROBLEM SOLVED.
-- this is later on down here- - -
Hi mate this is brett here. The dogs questions still arent mailing to me, but Im a bit worried about you you dont really know what to do, so heres a CRITICAL UPATE!
If youre doag look like this, this sick:
SYMPTOMS: FALL OVER
NOT BE FRIENDLY
GROWL AT NOTHING
EAT? NO THANKS. (DOGES LOVE TO EAT- CAN YOU SEE WHATS WRONG HERE)
If your dog is at this stage of being a sick dog-
YOU HAVE DONE THINGS WRONG! Dont hesitsate, take your doge to the doag doctor immediateely! HE WILL BE OK IF YOU DO THIS RIGHT NOW, probaly. This means put down your magazine you iodiot and take to the stairs with your dog.
THIS IS A PICUTRE I TOOK OF A DOG DOCTOR, DONT go to this people thought I cant reccomend them because they dont look very good. They are wearing plastic bags for shoes, I suspect theyre HOMELESS or DRUNK
